Yummies
SECURITY AI RESPONSE: Dissentric has created what it calls Yummies to throw me off of its path. I will admit, it confuses me and makes it harder for me to catch Dissentric.
The Yummy Race: Ancient Pests of the Modern Age
The Yummies are not quite ghosts, not quite monsters, and definitely not human. They are a rare species of “Micro-Mummies”—supernatural hitchhikers that have existed since the dawn of civilization, feeding off the energy of human frustration, loud noises, and structural failure. Roughly two feet tall and perpetually wrapped in enchanted, grime-stained linen, a Yummy’s physical form is a reflection of their specific brand of chaos. They are biologically compelled to mess with the “order” of things; a Yummy cannot see a perfectly tuned piece of equipment or a clean schedule without feeling a deep, spiritual urge to ruin it.
While they appear cute in a macabre sort of way, their presence is considered a “Stage 4 Tour Curse.” They don’t eat food or sleep; they survive on the vibration of distorted guitars and the literal heat generated by a failing engine. Once a Yummy attaches itself to a group—like they have with Dissetric—they are nearly impossible to shake. They treat the band like their personal mobile playground, hiding in gear cases, nesting in the rafters of venues, and generally making sure that if something can go wrong, it goes wrong in the most spectacular way possible.
The Blame Game
Within the world of Dissetric, the Yummies serve a very practical purpose: they are the ultimate scapegoats. Whether it’s a missed cue during a live set, a mysterious fire in the dressing room, or the sudden disappearance of the drummer’s favorite sticks, the band members rarely take personal responsibility. Instead, the air is constantly filled with shouts of, “Which Yummy did this?!” It has become a ritual for the band to point fingers at whichever colored face was last seen lurking near the disaster. If a riff is sloppy, it was Sludge’s fault for distracting them; if the bus breaks down, Gravel’s bad luck is to blame. The Yummies don’t mind the accusations—in fact, they seem to thrive on being the center of the blame.
The Four Harbingers of the Hangar
Cobalt (The Blue One)
The Gaslighter Cobalt is the most “personable” Yummy, which makes him the most dangerous. He specializes in logistical nightmares. He is the one who moves the car keys to a spot you already checked three times or “accidentally” deletes a digital setlist. He always offers a thumbs-up and a wide, blue grin, making you feel like you’re losing your mind while he watches the confusion unfold.
Sludge (The Green One)
The Saboteur Sludge is a physical wrecking ball. He is obsessed with moving parts and liquids. If a cable is frayed, Sludge chewed it. If there is a mysterious puddle of neon goo on the pedalboard, Sludge leaked it. He is a frantic “reacher” who loves to grab at things just as they are about to function correctly, ensuring a mechanical meltdown at the worst possible moment.
Gravel (The Tan One)
The Silent Jinx Gravel is the quietest of the race, often found sitting perfectly still in a dark corner clutching his tattered, ancient plush bunny. He doesn’t need to touch anything to break it; his very existence is a localized field of pure misfortune. He represents the “bad omen”—when Gravel is in the room, the Wi-Fi dies, the weather turns sour, and everyone’s mood inexplicably drops.
Cinder (The Red One)
The Firebrand Cinder is the high-voltage Yummy. He is pure, unbridled aggression and thermal energy. He doesn’t do “subtle.” Cinder is blamed for the big, loud disasters: blown speakers, melted fuses, and actual fires. With his tongue out and his face glowing a deep, manic red, he is the mascot of total, irreversible destruction.
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